Grace

Many psychologists believe that guilt is one of the chief culprits in creating neuroses. We literally make our self mentally ill because of our guilt. Guilt for what we’ve done and for the things we haven’t done. Whatever the source, the result of living with guilt, and the unhealthy behavior this creates, can take a terrible toll on our relationships, our ability to fully become the person we were designed to be, and ultimately even our physical health.

I’m not talking about simply taking responsibility for our actions. Accepting responsibility for our actions is an important part of being an adult, adults accept responsibility for our choices and behaviors, and when necessary seek to make amends with others and healthy adults are open to changing their behavior when necessary.

But with guilt we’ve moved beyond responsibility to prolonged remorse, and in some cases, rather than seeking to make amends or changing our behavior, we attempt to correct some wrong through the emotional experience of guilt itself. This never works. Guilt itself will never cure or fix anything.

Additionally, not only do many people suffer from guilt, but we often place blame on others in ways that, consciously or unconsciously, we hope will create guilt in them. We use as a club, as a way of hitting back for some offense. We even blame others for their actions long after there is any practical benefit for doing so.

What’s the answer to the debilitating condition of suffering guilt. I believe the answer is grace. Now the word grace has many definitions. It can mean beauty, or a period between the due date on your credit card bill and when they’ll start charging you interest, or a sort of temporary immunity. But I’m speaking about a particular type of grace, the type of grace that is generally discussed in theological circles.

Christian theologians speak about a type of grace that can restore our mental health. This kind of grace revolves around Jesus’ teaching that God is willing to forgive us, even though we have not earned that forgiveness. This is a type of grace that is freely given, it is unmerited favor and love. The key word here is unmerited. It’s a gift. I believe that if we learn to accept this gift, and if we are willing to give this same kind of grace to others, our life will be made much richer, much more fulfilling, much happier. When we receive grace, and give grace to ourselves and others, we free ourselves of the incredibly heavy burden of guilt that robs us of creativity, clarity, and happiness. We obviously also lighten the load of our fellow travelers. When we exercise grace, accepting God’s love, forgiving our self, and forgiving others, especially when they don’t deserve it, we make life’s journey more joyful. I believe that exercising grace is one of the key components for having a joyful life journey.

Something to think about.